Telephone!
by punyfairies
Summary: Kind of like the game telephone, except in between all the countries. One letter leads to the next and, well... Lots of characters and lots of crack :3 Please enjoy.


Kind of like telephone, except with the countries.

I know this is sadly confusing, but basically:

Country A sends something to Country B, and Country B will send something to Country C, and Country C will then send something to Country D, etc, etc. So let's say the 1st letter was written by England to France, then the next letter would be from France to another country.

* * *

Francis, you git:

After years of research, I have finally come up with another miraculous device that can make 10 steak-and-kidney pies per hour. Amazing, no? I can't wait to see your face as I show you the superior English technology. See you in a week (so I can kick your ass)!

Arthur

My Darling Roderich:

I sent Pierre No. 3 to you, so please take good care of him! Don't let your crowned eagle eat him, or anything, okay?

I just heard from England that he's coming over to show me some awful cooking device (again), and will be in France in a week, but sadly I won't be there to receive him because I'm busy taking pictures of y—

Non, non, I'm definitely not at your place right now.

Francis, with love.

P.S. Your letter of love is still bringing me much joy and fantasy.

Feliciano:

Please kindly tell Antonio to control your dear (noisy) brother. I am trying to tell Hungary something.

I just got a suspicious letter from Francis, can you please check if he is lurking around my place? I'll give you cake.

England has apparently developed a new cooking device again. Maybe it is worth investigating.

Meanwhile, I have to deal with Weillshmidt. He's smashing things here again. Maybe this time I can get my vital regions back.

Austria

Dear Ludwig~~:

Austria-san asked me to investigate if France nii-chan is lurking around, but I'm scared~~ Germany will come and help me riiiight?

I heard that England made a cooking machine! Could it be a pasta-maker? Because, that would make me so happy! Maybe he finally realized the amazingness that is pasta!

See you soon!

Feliciano

Japan:

I'm going to go deal with Italy and Austria. Please take care of things while I'm gone.

By the way, I heard that England has developed something weird. If you could look into that, it'll be great.

Germany

Dear Heracles:

I'm very worried. It would seem that England has developed some kind of new technology. Do you want to check it out with me?

Japan

P.S. Please tell me that nothing happened the last time we were together. I beg you.

Turkey, why can't you die already:

HA. I heard that England made a new machine! I bet it's a machine that lets you turn into a cat. So long, sucker! I'll never have to worry about trade deficits again.

If you read more Aristotle, maybe people will finally accept you more.

Greece

England:

How dare you? Did you think I'd let you help Greece accomplish his dream of becoming a cat?

I'M COMING OVER WITH MY ARMY. NOW. FEAR ME.

Turkey

America:

For some reason, Turkey has sent me some nonsense about Greece. Ah well, probably nothing to worry about.

So, do you want to try my awesome cooking some day? Bring Can—Cad—Na—whoever he is over too!

England

Mark:

RUN. ENGLAND IS COMING OVER WITH FOOD.

Signed,

Alfred F. Jones, Hero in Residence

Dear Ivan:

America called me Mark. You remember my name though, right?

Anyway, I heard there a strange thing is going on with England. If you don't mind, can we go ask him nicely what is happening?

Sincerely, Canada

Elizaveta:

It's me, Ivan. Would you happen to remember Canada's name? All I know is that it is not Mark.

So, how about that "become one with Russia" proposition?

Ah-

We cordially invite you to join the wedding of

Mr. I. Braginski and Miss N. Alfroskaya

Frying pans are not permitted.

Date: June 1-

Sorry, please pretend that the above message does not exist. Someone took my pen for a bit, is all.

Ivan

Hey, Lithuania:

I heard that Russia and Belarus are getting married! Should we go, should we go? Come with me since you live so close to them! Please ask Poland for me as well! Too bad I cannot bring my favorite thing in the whole wide world (other than Austria-san, of course, but I don't suppose he counts as a "thing"?)

Elizaveta

Dear Feliks:

My heart is broken.

Liet

Finlanddddd:

You need to, like, totally help me. Liet is _so_ not right in the head right now. I think Russia may have had something to do with this. Shall we all go pony-riding to like, cheer him up?

You can totally come over any time you want.

Poland

Dear Su-san:

I just got a very disturbing letter from Poland. I fear that Lithuania may finally be cracking under Russia's evilness. You don't mind if I go and help, right?

I'm leaving Hana Tomago under your care!

Finland

Prussia:

Stop 'nvading people's vit'l regions. Something weird's going on. Go find out 'nd report back t'me. 'm too busy taking care 'f Hana T'mago.

Sweden

Antonio:

Do you want to be awesome and go teach that damned aristocrat a lesson with me? We'll get Italy back and then you can be a big happy family forever and ever and…

Signed,

Gilbert the Great

Dear Romano~:

Let's go pick up your brother! Don't you think he's so cute? Why can't you also be cute?

Ah, I'm sorry! Your tomato cheeks are also very cute.

I'm a little worried. I heard that Turkey is currently marching to England. I wonder what happened?

Antonio

Arthur, you bastard:

What the hell is going on? I'm tired of seeing everyone run around like crazy. The atmosphere stirs up the evil muffins at my place, you know. Stop already, dammit.

Romano

FRANCIS:

WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME? Right after I got a letter from Romano, ALL THESE TURKISH PEOPLE START KNOCKING ON THE DOOR AND I—AHHH! SWEET PIXIES ABOVE!

I SWEAR I'll get back at you!

Britannia Angel, where are you when I need you?

Arthur

Darling Roderich:

How is Pierre #3 doing?

I heard that England is currently being attacked by Turkey! Arthur dares to say that I had something to do with this! You know that I'm innocent, right?

(Although I cannot say that I'm not happy about this turn of events—)

So, shall we do some of those things described in your letter? Because that would really make me happy~ Frenchmen truly are very nice, believe me.

Francis

Francis:

Please go get a life. How can you think of such things when the whole world is sadly confused?

What I don't understand is… **how did all this happen**?

Austria

END

* * *

*Notes:

France's letter to Austria is based on the following strip:

. 

Also this:

. 

When Japan was talking about the last time he's been with Greece, he's referring to this:

. 

Greece's trade deficit:

. 

When Prussia tells Spain that he can live with Italy for ever and ever… it refers to this:

. 

…Spain's exact words were "we'll be together day and night…O heaven it'll be…"

If you were wondering:

Mark = Canada…No one could remember his name correctly.

That bit with the wedding: It seems like Belarus momentarily took control of the pen and paper.

I think that's about it. Man, I wish I could go pony-riding with Poland. That would be, like, totally awesome.


End file.
